I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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