dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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