you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
