I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
