help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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