was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
