A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
