Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
