Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
