when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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