SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
