I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
