do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
