There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
