i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
