I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
