Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
A bitchslap is in order.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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