SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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