I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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