ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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