i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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