well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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