Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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