It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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