Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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