New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Still dying that you shit outside
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize