That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
