that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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