No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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