I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it glows. i had to have it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
