Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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