i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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