he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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