Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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