I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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