Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
