You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
