How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
