So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
