people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
