dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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