If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
