best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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