If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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