im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
