i think my tv is drunk
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
