they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
