They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
