I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
