well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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