he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
