I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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