Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize