rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
