isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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