So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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