what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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