He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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