If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
