It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize