I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hippo gnu deer
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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